Category: Fun & Satire

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Ryerson employees can now tell customers off without consequences

September 18, 2018

Chances are you’ve had the urge to reach over the counter and give a piece of your mind to the rude customer you are contractually obligated to serve. There is now a free speech policy change that could help you

One per cent of students agree that Ryerson’s new housing is affordable

September 14, 2018

You might just be the desired customer Ryerson is looking to attract with their newest residence building, HOEM

New study finds that teachers are actually more scared of students

September 11, 2018

“The study concluded that regardless of the age group of students, teachers were 100 per cent more afraid of them than vice versa”

The mysterious murder of Chris Finnigan

It was a crisp Tuesday afternoon. Chris Finnigan, one of Ryerson’s most eligible squirrels, died earlier that morning

Meet your Fall 2018 Masthead

Congratulations to our Fall 2018 Eyeopener masthead!

What to do when Mother Nature thinks parkas and shorts are the new fad

Make sense of Toronto's crazy weather with these fantastic new tips!

Ryerson unveils cockroach plan to deal with bed bugs problem

Never fear, Lachemi is here!

Rye student still set to graduate even after not attending class since 2014

No class attendance? No problem!

All the water in the world for Finding Nemo

Ryerson University set to become global superpower after theatre program purchases every last drop of the world’s water supply

TRSM student leader gets into Ivey, ghosts everyone

“Listen, an Ivey kid could show up to a job interview with us, say nothing, take a dump on my desk, leave, and I’ll still hire them over literally anyone else"

Rye student invents new mom-centric holiday

"Momday" will happen on March 26, and no, it's not the same thing as mother's day

Starbucks to launch new line of lattes inspired by Rye students

The school is calling this launch a final "fuck you" to Tim Hortons

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