Category: Fun & Satire

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How to be a perfect significant other

September 24, 2017

I am the perfect girlfriend. The best significant other in the whole world. I’m terrific, let me tell you. I mean, I’m not in an actual relationship yet, but that’s neither here nor there

U of T students take their jealousy out on Steve Carell

September 20, 2017

U of T students were jealous of the celebrities on Ryerson's campus for TIFF—so they egged Steve Carell

Ryerson’s president unveiled the university’s new Po-Op pro- gram Tuesday under the Zanzibar Zone. PHOTO ILLUSTRATION: SARAH KRICHEL

Ryerson launches the ‘Zanzibar Zone’

September 20, 2017

Ryerson unveiled its new Po-Op program under the Zanzibar Zone, an initiative which partners Ryerson students with select Toronto’ finest strip clubs

Dropping bikes and breaking hearts. PHOTO: CAMILA KUKULSKI

Ryerson’s bike thieves can’t keep up with the industry

September 20, 2017

Since Dropbikes appeared on campus this year, Ryerson’s bike thief community has been struggling

New Ryerson SLC doors lead to Narnia

September 18, 2017

After contacting the manufacturers of the new doors, the SIU discovered that the same company produced the infamous wardrobe that led four young children to Narnia years ago

Fun & Satire Video

Friday Night Adventures – Bake-Off

September 18, 2017

This week, fun editor Emerald Bensadoun and media editor Carl Solis had a bake-off to see who could make the best soufflé!

Ryerson campus. FILE PHOTO

Rye teaching staff to be paid $50 every time they say ‘innovation’

September 13, 2017

Satire: Ryerson University is stepping up its self-promotion game this school year

Faculties are steamingly baffled by the school’s hot commodity. PHOTO: IGOR MAGUN

Why is Ryerson fuming?

September 13, 2017

What the fuck were those giant metal pillars sitting in the middle of the sidewalk on Gould Street?

How to trick people into thinking you’re a responsible human being

August 23, 2017

Have you heard of the phrase “work smart, not hard”? Just for you, we’ve decided to let you in on a few key secrets to deluding all of your new friends and family that you have your shit together while still living your laziest best life.

How to make friends with your roommate

August 23, 2017

Here's how to take your relationship with your roommate to the next level

The Eyeopener's editor, Nicole, at her desk.

Editorial Fun & Satire

Eye masthead poisons EIC with gluten, EIC dies, joins Dead Editors’ Club

By The News Team It was the rotisserie chicken that drove them off the edge. Nicole Schmidt, Editor-in-Chief of The Eyeopener, tragically died on April 3 after being poisoned. It was The Eye’s weekly Monday dinner, and Schmidt posted the usual SurveyMonkey link to her masthead. Editors voted for what food they wanted to order, […]

It all connects. It’s a bit of a stretch, but it’s true. Photo illustration Devin Jones

Eyevestigation: The death of Smith Johnson

“Put down the gun,” said Ryerson president Mohamed Lachemi , who was surrounded by an angry crowd of pigeons and squirrels. “It doesn’t have to end like this.”

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