VIA Rail commercials cause existential crisis amongst students
February 22, 2018
“I never really thought about it before,” said Rahman. “Why don’t I take the train?"
Category: Fun & Satire
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Ryerson Dance Pak to be sponsored by Snack Packs
February 19, 2018
It seems that all those RSU campaign posters are costing more than expected
Treat bae with these romantic gift ideas
February 13, 2018
We’ve put together a list of romantic gifts to bestow upon your partner that will leave them thinking “holy fucking shit,” the moment they open them
How to have a great hookup
February 11, 2018
With these tips, you're bound to get lucky at some point!
Ryerson will be replacing all staircases with slides
February 6, 2018
In an effort to cheer up all you sad, lonely and quite frankly pathetic Ryerson students in these cold winter months, the school’s president announced on Tuesday that all stairs on campus will be replaced with slides
RSU candidate suddenly a ‘really great guy’
February 6, 2018
Sources confirm that the RSU candidate emerged from literally nowhere mere weeks before the election
The key to a successful streetcar commute
February 6, 2018
The Commuters on Streetcars at Ryerson is a brand new student group this semester that lives by its mission “to stand in solidarity with fellow Ryerson commuters on tight, smelly streetcars"
Aren’t movie dates the fucking worst?
January 31, 2018
Stating the obvious here: first dates at the movies suck, and I’m sick of not talking about it
When are we going to acknowledge that the new Eaton Centre bridge looks like a giant penis?
January 31, 2018
We need to have a frank conversation about Toronto’s obsession with penis architecture
THE DILDO TRILOGIES PT. 3: Ryerson dildos to run for RSU office
January 30, 2018
Dildos are running for RSU executive positions, and they might actually have a shot at winning
Rye student 5 seconds late, drops class
January 30, 2018
Emotionally unequipped and ill-prepared to handle disapproving glares for being five seconds late, Marc Hay decided to drop the course
For immediate release: The Eyeopener to create its own cryptocurrency
January 27, 2018
Following yet another Bitcoin crash, The Eyeopener is pleased to announce it will be creating its own cryptocurrency
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