Whoever parked here is getting a big fucking ticket.

Photo: Woodrow St. Clair

Car on Kerr!

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Nobody is taking credit for this year’s greatest prank

By Dougie Smitts, Crime Reporter

A burst of unrestrained pranking over the weekend is leaving everyone guessing because no one has owned up the pranking.

On Monday, a car, appeared mysteriously atop the roof of Kerr Hall, on the south-western corner. It was spotted by Janucz Gohan, 2nd year Midwifery student. Spray-painted on the side were the words, “friendship feels so good!”

I interviewed the Dictator of Campus Planning and Facilities in his darkened smoke-filled office. An awestruck Ian Hamilton said “Oh those beautiful whores. This is way cooler than anything I could ever plan.” He speculated that the only way to get it off might be to hire the pranksters to undo the damage they’ve done.

The interior design students have proposed a contest to design costumes for the super-pranksters.

This reporter has seen a good many pranks, but nothing so fabulous as this, what’s next? Only God himself knows, and he isn’t talking.

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