Author: Rochelle Raveendran

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Image of a voting ballot where the person has checked off "Guy who breathes through his testicles"

Why I’m voting for the PPC candidate who breathes through his testicles

September 17, 2021

Chad Travis writes about his appreciation for Nicholas Pereira, a PPC candidate with steely testes

Beyonce standing in front of a row of Canadian flags with a microphone

Clueless Canadian university students have no idea who to vote for

September 14, 2021

"Wait, there are elections? I thought we just elected Joe Biden"

A man scowling holding up a Ryerson hoodie in the campus store

Students finally realize buying overpriced Ryerson Campus Store merch was unwise

September 14, 2021

We broke up with Ryerson—he’s now our X. Unfortunately, we’ve still got his clothes

Multi-coloured illustration of the different zodiac sign symbols

Your horoscope for the new academic year

September 7, 2021

Let the stars tell you what you can expect for the next academic year

A gloved hand inserting a syringe into a Balzac's coffee cup

Balzac’s creating a new COVID-19 vaccine-infused menu

September 7, 2021

The menu incorporates 100 per cent Arabica bean coffee with "deliciously fundamental COVID-19 antibodies"

Photo of a few people sitting outside a Ryerson campus building

Report: 50% of Ryerson students have no idea where they’re going

August 24, 2021

Ryerson challenges its students’ navigational abilities more than their readiness to enter the working world

Three women and a man chatting at a table

Non-COVID-19-related icebreakers to use on campus

August 24, 2021

If all else fails, you can always rely on discussing the unbelievable hotness of Nick Wilde from Zootopia

Illustration showing faces of one blue and purple robot and another yellow and grey robot

Ryerson to erect giant Mecha Egger-Man statue to honour destructive legacy

The statue will possess the ability to attack protestors with an iron fist and trap them in the "phantom realm"

The decapitated head of the Egerton Ryerson statue sitting on the sidewalk with tape over its mouth. The side of the face is bashed in and the head is covered in paint.

Ryerson’s statue toppling is the worst thing to ever happen in Canada ever

Ontario's Young Conservatives pen a powerful plea to rebuild Ryerson's statue and educate them on Malala

Photo of the bridge between Kerr Hall and RCC on Gould Street that says Ryerson University.

EXCLUSIVE: Leaked draft of alternate names and mottos for Ryerson University

The Eyeopener has obtained a copy of the "Standing Strong" task force's brainstorming Google Doc

A woman taking a selfie with a bunch of disapproving faces behind her.

Student takes selfies under glare of parents’ disapproval to mimic golden hour

"The more they grieve, the more I thrive"

Illustration of a globe with a plane travelling across it

Quiz: which obscure location should you visit first once quarantine ends?

If you're lucky, you could end up in a certain Ontario premier's backyard