Ryerson student takes ‘new year, new me’ resolution a little too literally
January 16, 2018
Sometimes living your best life means dabbling in black magic to become Zac Efron
Category: Fun & Satire
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‘Sam’ Sign above Victoria street spins sweet chaos
January 15, 2018
Vinyl-loving hipsters are becoming very, very confused
Male student’s motivational posters preventing him from getting laid
November 21, 2017
“Live, Love, Luagh” poster maybe not such a mood setter
Guy who thinks he’s a Chandler is really more of a Ross
November 21, 2017
Jeff Marcus thinking of switching his major to palaeontology so he can stay at Ryerson and pursue the career he’s “supposed to have.”
Meet your Winter 2018 Masthead
November 20, 2017
Congratulations to our Winter 2018 Eyeopener masthead!
“Scream Like Goku” to become a frosh event next year, officials say
November 16, 2017
Scream Like Goku, which has become a worldwide phenomena, is the act of screaming at the top of your lungs in a squatting position, similar to that of defecation
Monetary Times building actually just a figment of your imagination
November 15, 2017
Don't be fooled, it's a mirage
Ryerson prez releases a U of T diss track
November 14, 2017
The track entitled "Fuck You True Blue" addresses the rivalry between Ryerson and U of T
Dennis Rodman visits the wrong DMZ, almost ends the world
November 8, 2017
President Kim Jong-un is threatening North America with the possibility of nuclear warfare again after Dennis Rodman accidentally ended up at the wrong DMZ
“I’ve been studying from TIME”: A Toronto mans fails an english oral exam
November 5, 2017
A Toronto mans failed his English oral exam this morning. You could say he’s cheesed
Ryerson’s most eligible squirrels
November 1, 2017
Are you still searching for that special squirrel-ly someone? Are you nuts about love? Look no further (or higher), these bachelors are right at your feet
Alarming study finds death can seriously hamper human lifespans
October 30, 2017
Death does in fact have a serious impact on human lifespans.
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