RSU parties begin 2019 campaign
March 7, 2018
Stay tuned for more weekly coverage, every week, forever.
Category: Fun & Satire
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Why Ryerson and Tim Hortons will never be getting back together — like ever
March 6, 2018
The Eyeopener has obtained evidence of the following 10 reasons why Ryerson dumped Tim Hortons
EYERANT: The types of commuters you encounter on the TTC
March 6, 2018
The Olympic sprinters, the massive bag carriers, the intoxicated—oh my!
RSU execs hire the wrong Drake
March 5, 2018
Top secret, not fake documents reveal unprecedented plans by incoming RSU executives to bring Drake back to Ryerson—but not the Drake you’re thinking of
Failed RSU slate turns to dictionary for new name after election loss
February 28, 2018
After suffering an embarrassing loss in the most recent Ryerson Students’ Union executive election, members of the Orchestrate slate are headed back to the drawing board in preparation for next year’s vote
Ryerson hang-out spots “not chill enough”
February 27, 2018
In a public statement made in front of the Student Learning Centre (SLC) on Wednesday, a local cool guy announced that Rye’s hang-out spots are “not chill enough"
Disappointed Rhino voters disassemble victory guillotine
February 27, 2018
Not exactly the Ryerson revolution they were hoping for, but there's always next year, right?
Hibernating students woken up months early, sudden warm weather to blame
February 27, 2018
Sudden rises in temperatures over the past week are causing hibernating Ryerson students to wake up months ahead of schedule
VIA Rail commercials cause existential crisis amongst students
February 22, 2018
“I never really thought about it before,” said Rahman. “Why don’t I take the train?"
Ryerson Dance Pak to be sponsored by Snack Packs
February 19, 2018
It seems that all those RSU campaign posters are costing more than expected
Treat bae with these romantic gift ideas
February 13, 2018
We’ve put together a list of romantic gifts to bestow upon your partner that will leave them thinking “holy fucking shit,” the moment they open them
How to have a great hookup
February 11, 2018
With these tips, you're bound to get lucky at some point!
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