Category: Fun & Satire

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Rye student still set to graduate even after not attending class since 2014

No class attendance? No problem!

All the water in the world for Finding Nemo

Ryerson University set to become global superpower after theatre program purchases every last drop of the world’s water supply

TRSM student leader gets into Ivey, ghosts everyone

“Listen, an Ivey kid could show up to a job interview with us, say nothing, take a dump on my desk, leave, and I’ll still hire them over literally anyone else"

Rye student invents new mom-centric holiday

"Momday" will happen on March 26, and no, it's not the same thing as mother's day

Starbucks to launch new line of lattes inspired by Rye students

The school is calling this launch a final "fuck you" to Tim Hortons

EYERANT: No one helps me push through revolving doors

Just keep pushin'

Egerton Ryerson sneezes from the grave

It was a fateful Thursday in February; the kind a person never forgets

Students prepare for the beep test on the RCC bridge

For reasons unknown to the Ryerson community, a Beep Test has been scheduled in the bridge connecting the Rogers Communications Centre and Kerr Hall East.

SpaceX and BMO will open a rocket-launch campus at the Toronto Eaton Centre

“Dude it’s going to be fucking lit,” said SpaceX CEO Elon Musk

RSU parties begin 2019 campaign

Stay tuned for more weekly coverage, every week, forever.

Why Ryerson and Tim Hortons will never be getting back together — like ever

The Eyeopener has obtained evidence of the following 10 reasons why Ryerson dumped Tim Hortons

EYERANT: The types of commuters you encounter on the TTC

The Olympic sprinters, the massive bag carriers, the intoxicated—oh my!

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