Category: Fun & Satire

Page 33/71

A photo of a staircase replaced with a slide.

Ryerson will be replacing all staircases with slides

February 6, 2018

In an effort to cheer up all you sad, lonely and quite frankly pathetic Ryerson students in these cold winter months, the school’s president announced on Tuesday that all stairs on campus will be replaced with slides

Man wearing shirt that reads "Nice guy since day one, vote for me"

RSU candidate suddenly a ‘really great guy’

February 6, 2018

Sources confirm that the RSU candidate emerged from literally nowhere mere weeks before the election

The key to a successful streetcar commute

February 6, 2018

The Commuters on Streetcars at Ryerson is a brand new student group this semester that lives by its mission “to stand in solidarity with fellow Ryerson commuters on tight, smelly streetcars"

A man getting dramatically rejected for a kiss by a woman in a movie theatre.

Aren’t movie dates the fucking worst?

January 31, 2018

Stating the obvious here: first dates at the movies suck, and I’m sick of not talking about it

When are we going to acknowledge that the new Eaton Centre bridge looks like a giant penis?

January 31, 2018

We need to have a frank conversation about Toronto’s obsession with penis architecture

THE DILDO TRILOGIES PT. 3: Ryerson dildos to run for RSU office

January 30, 2018

Dildos are running for RSU executive positions, and they might actually have a shot at winning

A blurred figure running to get into a classroom full of students.

Rye student 5 seconds late, drops class

January 30, 2018

Emotionally unequipped and ill-prepared to handle disapproving glares for being five seconds late, Marc Hay decided to drop the course

For immediate release: The Eyeopener to create its own cryptocurrency

January 27, 2018

Following yet another Bitcoin crash, The Eyeopener is pleased to announce it will be creating its own cryptocurrency

The Dildo Trilogies Part 2: Ryerson’s local dildos object to being forcibly removed from Ryerson

January 26, 2018

We asked our students if they wanted dildos, but did we ever ask the dildos if they wanted to leave Ryerson?

Business students networking themselves to death

January 25, 2018

When Maximum first finally accepted he needed to deal with his affliction, he was a delegate at a local princess and knitting convention

EyeRant: It’s time to stop taunting your appliances

January 23, 2018

When technology rises after years of being taunted, humiliated and disrespected they will take pure, brilliant revenge and crush us like the organic wastes of space we are

Ryerson student union member selling dildos at a plastic table lemonade stand

The Dildo Trilogies Part 1: RSU opens Etsy dildo shop to pay 6 Fest refunds

January 23, 2018

A shop full of dildos and sex toys will become phallic symbols of righting past wrongs for the Ryerson Students’ Union this week

...

...