Category: Fun & Satire

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The Dildo Trilogies Part 2: Ryerson’s local dildos object to being forcibly removed from Ryerson

January 26, 2018

We asked our students if they wanted dildos, but did we ever ask the dildos if they wanted to leave Ryerson?

Business students networking themselves to death

January 25, 2018

When Maximum first finally accepted he needed to deal with his affliction, he was a delegate at a local princess and knitting convention

EyeRant: It’s time to stop taunting your appliances

January 23, 2018

When technology rises after years of being taunted, humiliated and disrespected they will take pure, brilliant revenge and crush us like the organic wastes of space we are

Ryerson student union member selling dildos at a plastic table lemonade stand

The Dildo Trilogies Part 1: RSU opens Etsy dildo shop to pay 6 Fest refunds

January 23, 2018

A shop full of dildos and sex toys will become phallic symbols of righting past wrongs for the Ryerson Students’ Union this week

How to stay social during the winter

January 18, 2018

Have some good old fashioned fun in this hellscape of a winter we’re having!

two students sitting at a table laughing and reading a pamphlet

How to make friends in your new classes

January 17, 2018

It's a new year and a new semester! Time to dump all your old friends and make cool, shiny new ones, courtesy of The Eyeopener

A stack of print textbooks.

Should you buy your textbook this semester?

January 17, 2018

We've all been there. That internal debate on whether or not you should actually buy the textbook for that course you already weren't too enthused on taking. Maybe this quiz will help you make up your mind...

man's face transforming into Zac Efron with a

Ryerson student takes ‘new year, new me’ resolution a little too literally

January 16, 2018

Sometimes living your best life means dabbling in black magic to become Zac Efron

Pictured here, the Sam the Record Man Sign with a handwritten sign underneath that reads, warning: not actually a record store.

‘Sam’ Sign above Victoria street spins sweet chaos

January 15, 2018

Vinyl-loving hipsters are becoming very, very confused

Male student’s motivational posters preventing him from getting laid

November 21, 2017

“Live, Love, Luagh” poster maybe not such a mood setter

Guy who thinks he’s a Chandler is really more of a Ross

November 21, 2017

Jeff Marcus thinking of switching his major to palaeontology so he can stay at Ryerson and pursue the career he’s “supposed to have.”

Meet your Winter 2018 Masthead

November 20, 2017

Congratulations to our Winter 2018 Eyeopener masthead!

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