Category: Fun & Satire

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Horoscopes

Check out your latest horoscope, courtesy of Madame Igrid!

Peter Grafi. PHOTO: JAKE SCOTT

Eye Exclusive: Where are they now?

We catch up with Peter Graﬁ, Thomas Sander and James Blaylike to see what their lives are like post-rap battle.

Meet your Fall 2016 masthead

Congratulations to our Fall 2016 Eyeopener Masthead!

Man claims tiny fifteen-dollar burger he bought from food truck was worthwhile

Toronto local Francis Polk insists that the small $15 burger he purchased from popular food truck, Mad Cow, was worth the price.

Gotta get me some strange

Toronto has an abundance of strangers - some wise, some certifiable - that often make it their mission to impede on your life. So why not embrace it!?

UPDATE: Mackenzie to step down in the fun elections

Former fun candidate Robert Mackenzie has announced that he will be dropping out of the upcoming fun elections, after leaked videos initiated protests against his candidacy.

UPDATE: Protestors call for Mackenzie to drop out of fun editor elections

Protestors have gathered outside of Robert Mackenzie’s fun offices, calling for him to quit the race for fun editor.

BREAKING: Leaked videos show Mackenzie insulting colleagues, planning illegal activity

Two leaked cellphone videos appear to show leading fun candidate Robert Mackenzie insulting Eyeopener staff and admitting to illegal activities.

Voices of Toronto

We asked Torontonians for their thoughts on a recent discovery suggesting that humans and unicorn-like creatures may have coexisted at some point.

Horoscopes

Your weekly horoscope - in video form - brought to you by Madame Igrid.

This bitch needs your money. PHOTO: Jake Scott

GoFundMe, bitch

A Ryerson student is raising money to help keep her swear jar full.

Fucks given: zero. Aboslutely zero. PHOTO: Skyler Ash

How to have zero shame

Do you ever feel ashamed of yourself? Well, you should. You’ve got plenty of reasons to, but just forget about those. At least for now.

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