Ryerson’s bike thieves can’t keep up with the industry
September 20, 2017
Since Dropbikes appeared on campus this year, Ryerson’s bike thief community has been struggling
Category: Fun & Satire
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New Ryerson SLC doors lead to Narnia
September 18, 2017
After contacting the manufacturers of the new doors, the SIU discovered that the same company produced the infamous wardrobe that led four young children to Narnia years ago
Friday Night Adventures – Bake-Off
September 18, 2017
This week, fun editor Emerald Bensadoun and media editor Carl Solis had a bake-off to see who could make the best soufflé!
Rye teaching staff to be paid $50 every time they say ‘innovation’
September 13, 2017
Satire: Ryerson University is stepping up its self-promotion game this school year
Why is Ryerson fuming?
September 13, 2017
What the fuck were those giant metal pillars sitting in the middle of the sidewalk on Gould Street?
How to trick people into thinking you’re a responsible human being
August 23, 2017
Have you heard of the phrase “work smart, not hard”? Just for you, we’ve decided to let you in on a few key secrets to deluding all of your new friends and family that you have your shit together while still living your laziest best life.
How to make friends with your roommate
August 23, 2017
Here's how to take your relationship with your roommate to the next level
Eye masthead poisons EIC with gluten, EIC dies, joins Dead Editors’ Club
April 4, 2017
By The News Team It was the rotisserie chicken that drove them off the edge. Nicole Schmidt, Editor-in-Chief of The Eyeopener, tragically died on April 3 after being poisoned. It was The Eye’s weekly Monday dinner, and Schmidt posted the usual SurveyMonkey link to her masthead. Editors voted for what food they wanted to order, […]
Eyevestigation: The death of Smith Johnson
April 4, 2017
“Put down the gun,” said Ryerson president Mohamed Lachemi , who was surrounded by an angry crowd of pigeons and squirrels. “It doesn’t have to end like this.”
A letter to you, from fun editors old and new
April 4, 2017
Well, it’s been a slice. By the way, it’s me, Skyler, your local fun editor for the last year and a half. We’ve been through a lot together
Kerr Hall will be a hay bale maze this summer
April 2, 2017
Satire: Lachemi and the board were considering putting various buildings on campus up for rent on Airbnb, but the idea of a hay bale maze made more sense to them
Wearing a blanket will protect you from harm, student group insists
April 1, 2017
Members of the My Blanket Protects me from Evil Creatures (MBPEC) club conducted a poll of almost 3,000 students
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